For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
