Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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