dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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