well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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