I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
