but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
