Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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