If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I currently don't understand fingers.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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