I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize