He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
