Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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