im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
