It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
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I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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