i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
