I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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