u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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