honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
