Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize