I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
