You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
