I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
