dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
