So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
