I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
is that a dick in a sweater?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
