My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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