do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
