I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
