Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
