just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
