it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
ttyl tear gas
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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