I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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