well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
