Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
