I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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