I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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