She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
