i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
