Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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