Who wears a wallet chain?!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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