I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
