We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
