he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize