I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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