its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize