it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize