We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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