college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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