it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want to make out with him forever
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
