Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
