Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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