Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
