would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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