found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
