Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
