dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
