My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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