By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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