I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
