i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
