Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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